Much adieu is made out of Bar Mitzvah’s these days.  It roughly corresponds to the boy’s thirteen birthday, but since the Hebrew and American calendars don’t always sync-up, his actually birthday may be as much as three or four weeks off from the date of his Bar Mitzvah ceremony.

The term Bar Mitzvah actually refers to the boy himself, not the event. The word ‘BAR’ is Aramaic for son (similar to Hebrew “Ben”) and ‘MITZVAH’ is the word for commandment. Thus, at thirteen, a boy becomes Bar Mitzvah, or Son of the Commandment, i.e. responsible for keeping the commandments or the 613 Mitzvot, divided in 365 positive commandments [things to do], and 248 negative commandments [things not do].

Historically, celebration of the Bat Miztvah for girls, at age 12, was a very recent edition.  The first American Bat Miztvah did not occur until the year 1922.  The girl’s Bat Mitzvah may be a much smaller event, depending on the tradition of the synagogue; as ladies don’t typically read Torah in traditional synagogues.

In a traditional family, education, or “CHINUCH” begins at age 3 when the child first learns to recognize the letters of the Hebrew alphabet.

There is much preparation for Jewish boys to be ready for their Bar Mitzvahs.  Usually they work with one of the following: 1) Sunday School teachers, 2) Cantor, or 3) Rabbi.
If you are from a church background, you maybe surprised that I mention “Sunday School Teachers”.  Since synagogues hold services on the Sabbath, Saturday, there are often additional classes for young people held on Sunday mornings.

Obviously, the degree of preparation for a Bar Miztvah depends on the type of setting, whether it be a Reform, Conservative, or Orthodox synagogue, with Orthodox usually having more requirements.  Orthodox synagogues are more likely to be associated with a Hebrew School, that doesn’t just meet Sunday, but either everyday of the week (i.e. a Jewish school), or some or all days of the week (after the student goes to a public school).

The core of the Bar Mitzvah is the boy’s reading of the Maftir and the Haftarah. The Maftir is all or part the last Torah reading, and the Haftarah is a reading from the KTUVIM (the prophetical books of the bible). If the boy is particularly talented in the area of Torah laining, or chanting the Torah, he may do the entire Torah reading. Usually the Bar Mitzvah (the boy) also has to learn a selection of prayers from the Sidur, the Jewish prayer book, and may or may not be asked to lead some of them in the service.

There are two approaches to the boy’s learning to chant Torah. The more holistic approach is to learn all the Ta’amim, the cantillation symbols, and how each one is sung, teaching him a life song skill to be able to read Torah in the future.  But again, this approach takes times, and should actually begin years before the Bar Mitzvah.  Too many boys just get a recording, and memorize it to the best of their ability.

Obviously, they have to learn the Hebrew alphabet, and to recognize and pronounce words.  But the Torah scroll is written without vowels, so not only do they need to learn the proper tunes, they must learn the words and vocabulary to some extent.  The tunes from Ashkenazi to Sephardic are quite different, and even within those groups, there are variations in tunes based on the part of the world or the tradition of individual groups.

The second major part of the Bar Mitzvah is that the boy usually gives the “D’var Torah”, or a short lesson, sermon, or commentary on the weekly Torah reading. The Torah is divided into 54 Parashot, roughly one for each week of the year, with some Shabbat’s having a double reading. There are computer programs that can help determine which week the boy should have his Bar Mitzvah, and which Torah reading he needs to prepare for. Some read it from hand-written or typed pages, and it can be dull; while others are brilliant and lucid teachings worthy of a scholar.

The following websites can be used to determine the appropriate date and Torah portion based on the boy’s birthdate on the Hebrew calendar:

1. Chabad
2. World Ort
3. Bar-Mitzvah.com

Preparation often begins at least a year before. For more observant families, it’s probably less traumatic, because the boy has been studying Hebrew all along. In a less observant family, the parents may not have gone to synagogue much at all, and now, they want to “carry on the tradition” with their son, who now must learn Hebrew, prayers, and laining all in the same year.

In a traditional service, seven men are given an “Alliyah”, or are “called up” to the Torah. (or eight if we count the Maftir).  This is the same word used when a person migrates to Israel, as “Aliyah” means to go up, and Israel is considered a move up from the nations of the world.  Whoever reads the Maftir, also read the Haftara.  Family members are often called up for the first Aliyot during a Bar Mitzvah.

In most synagogues, the Rabbi or Cantor reads the Torah reading, even though another person is called up “for the reading”.  Many people don’t keep up the practice of being able to read Torah, and it can take 2 to 20 hours practice to prepare a reading.  So the normal custom is that another person reads it for you.

Until the Bar Mitzvah, the parents are spiritually responsible for the boy, but from that day forward, he is responsible for his own good deeds and sins. Traditionally, he will then also be required to put on Tefilin in the morning, and prayer the three daily services. In some cultures, he wears a Talit (or Talis in the Ashkenaz pronunciation), but in other cultures only married men wears Talits.

Today, Bar Mitzvahs have often become elaborate celebrations. For example, check out the movie “Keeping Up With the Steins“.  A young boy learns what the Bar Mitzvah is really about and simplifies his Bar Mitzvah party.  At the beginning of the movie, his parents had were lured b peer pressur into having an outlandish event; the the boy didn’t have a clue why.

Rabbi Berel Wein observed that 50 years ago in Chicago, the boy just read Torah at the Thursday morning minyan, and they celebrated with a LaChaim (drink) and a apple cake.  By contrast to today, the boy usually reads Torah on a Sabbath morning, relatives come from out of town.  The family often sponsors a huge Kiddush (wine, snacks, refreshments after the service), and that is often followed by another huge party at a hotel later that day.

Over the years, traditional Jewish foods have found their way into contemporary American eating habits. Perhaps you’ve run to a deli or a grocery and ordered a quick lunch of corned beef on rye with a kosher dill on the side, or maybe you stopped for a quick bite of a bagel rushing to work in the morning, or maybe a sweet blintz is more to your liking. Even a run through most store bakeries show you stacks of challah bread.

Most Americans don’t give what they eat a second thought, and dismiss traditional Jewish food as just another form of fast food. Eaten on the run, there is little thought behind the food and it’s traditional place in Jewish culture and cuisine. This only clarifies how well assimilated food traditions are in America.

Perhaps the quintessential traditional Jewish food is the bagel. The traditional aspect of the bagel is found in dubious historical fact. The bagel is said to have originated in Vienna. Created by a Jewish baker to honor the Polish King, Jan Sobieski III, for heading the Polish cavalry in a charge that saved Vienna from invasion by the Turks in 1683, the shape of the bagel is supposed to mimic the stirrup (called a beugal) of King Jan’s saddle. The facts are, there was a Polish King Jan III, he did lead a cavalry charge to defend Vienna from invading Turks, and there were Jewish bakers in Vienna at the time. However, there is reference to a food named “beygls” as early as 1610, found in paperwork from Krakow, Poland. In addition, “bugel” was a Yiddish word which was used to describe a round loaf of bread. That aside, the bagel has been eaten by most eastern European Jews since the 1600’s. It came to America with the Ashkenazi in the late 1800’s, and is considered by that community to be traditional Jewish food.

Though not sold in all delis across America, the moniker “Jewish Penicillin” is given to down home chicken soup. It is hard to consider such a universally eaten soup as Jewish, yet, many Jewish families made it through many centuries of hard times all over the globe on chicken soup. The traditional Jewish food is a clear, or pale yellow broth, eaten with bits of chicken floating in it, most often with broad egg noodles. At one point in time, in most middle class American Jewish homes, chicken soup was a once a week staple. Most people will agree that they eat chicken soup when they have a cold, and there is actual laboratory evidence that homemade chicken soup can actually make the length of a cold shorter by days.

If people took the time to stop and think about their food choices, they would agree they eat some type of food on a weekly basis that they would consider traditional Jewish food. They might not know the history behind the tradition, but they would see the food as a Jewish staple.

Thanks for reading. If you found this article helpful be sure to check out more information, tips, and more articles about Jewish cooking on my website: http://www.jewishhomecooking.com

Rosh Hashanah marks the beginning of a Hebrew calendar year. It is a serious occasion, more akin to the first day of school than the first day of January. It is a time to see how much we have grown over the year, in a Jewish sense – a time for accounting for spiritual, ethical and religious growth. Hence, the shofar, the ram’s horn: like the alarm clock on the morning of the first day of school, the piercing sounds of the shofar are a wake-up call, challenged to examine the lives led in the year just concluded, and to think about paths for the year ahead.

The two-day celebration of Rosh Hashanah is referred to as ?yoma arichta?, meaning one day, as the forty-eight hour long observance of Rosh Hashanah is considered to be one extended day. This observance of two days is observed not only in Diaspora but in Jerusalem as well. Nevertheless, it is imperative that the first day of Rosh Hashanah will fall only on the following days: Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, or Shabbat. Moreover, there is a subtle difference between the second day of Rosh Hashanah celebrated when the months were calculated based on testimony and the second day celebrated at present. In the former period, if witnesses did not appear, the first day celebrated would be observed according to the dictate of the Rabbi and the second day would be at the behest of the holy book, Torah. Presently, as the calendar is dependent on fixed calculations, the first day Rosh Hashanah of is a Torah obligation and the second day is a Rabbinical enactment.

A custom observed on the first day of Rosh Hashanah in the afternoon (or on the second day in the afternoon if the first day is the Shabbat), is to gather at a stream or river to symbolically cast away one’s sins. The ceremony is known as ?Tashlich? (“cast off” in Hebrew) and involves the throwing of crumbs from one’s pockets into the running waters and the reciting of biblical verses. A central verse in the ceremony is from the Book of Micah (7:19): “And you kill cast [vetashlikh] all their sins in the depths of the sea.”

At the dawn of Rosh Hashanah, it is an old custom to go from house to house with a sack, where people, who have money, put coins in it and those who can?t afford it take coins out of the sack, but no one can know for certain, who donates and who takes away. This custom is known as Tzedakha, or ?Charity? which is observed in adherence to the Mitzvah or commandments which promulgates to share what we have with those in need.

Rosh Hashanah includes the standard holiday choreography of candle lighting and the Kiddush blessing over wine, complemented with a variety of culinary customs highlighting the day’s themes. These begin with a round Challah loaf, recalling a king’s crown – denoting God’s kingship — or alternately the ongoing continuity of the life cycle.

Apples are dipped in honey, expressing the hope that the coming year will be one of goodness and sweetness, and the following is recited: “May it be Your will, our God and God our ancestors, that our new year be good and sweet”. Honey other than being consumed with apple is also used to soak Challah, the traditional bread. In fact there are several dishes prepared with honey to celebrate Rosh Hashanah. Sephardic Jews serve covered fruit baskets so nobody knows what?s inside the basket, likewise no one knows what?s in store for the coming year.

Several other foods became customary to eat, because of the connection of their names (in Hebrew or Yiddish Aramaic) to our prayers for the coming year. Before each food, a prayer is said that begins: “May it be Your will, our God and God of our ancestors…”

On this holiday people spend most of their time praying in Synagogues. It provides them the opportunity to repent and pray for mercy to God side by side with their friends, family or loved ones. Married men dressed up in Kittel, traditional white attire as a symbol of purity. Likewise married women cover their head inside the synagogue. They pray and ardently listen to the ?chazan? which the rabbi recites.

However Rosh Hashanah is not merely about fun and frolicking. It is the time for prayer, profound personal introspection and the time for rekindling spiritual sensitivities. It is the time for the families and friends to look back and try to rectify the felonies that they have committed. Family members ask for forgiveness and forgive in return. Flipping through the family albums and remembering the fond memories of yesteryears is how some like to spend this holiday.

Sean Carter writes on holidays and celebrations around the world. He also writes on family, relationships, women?s issues, birthdays, inspiration, religion, love and friendship. He is a writer with special interest in e-card industry. He writes for 123Greetings.com

A traditional Jewish wedding includes one of the most beautiful ceremonies followed by fun-filled celebration. On their wedding day, Jewish people embrace meaningful rituals which symbolize truth, unity, and the obligations of a husband and wife.

In their wedding preparations, a bride (kallah in Hebrew) and her husband (chatan in Hebrew) should reflect and focus on their faith, lineage, material, spirituality, and planning for the future together. A Jewish man and woman should embrace the idea of marriage (called Kiddushin in Hebrew) and be prepared to sanctify themselves together.

Jewish weddings typically embrace tradition and celebrate the Jewish faith. The following guide will help explain the sacred day when a Jewish wedding occurs and all of the wedding plans that proceed that very special day:

Kabbalat Panim ? The Week Prior to the Wedding Day

It?s a Jewish wedding custom for the bride and groom to be seen by anyone but one another during the week prior to their wedding ceremony. During this week, separate receptions called ?Kabbalat Panim? are held prior to the actual wedding itself. During this time?the mother and the bride and groom meet with one another and break a plate together. This is a symbolic tradition. The plate, in a way, represents the relationship. Once shattered in pieces, the plate can not be repaired back to its normal condition. Such is the case with any relationship, once shattered, it can never be returned to its original state.

Badeken ? The Veiling of the Bride

The veil symbolizes modesty. Regardless of how physically attractive or unattractive a person may be, the soul and character are forever. Unlike physical beauty, which fades with age. Like (biblical) Rebecca prior to her marriage to Isaac, the veil is an accessory which has become a custom to protect and clothe the wife.

The Wedding

Considered the happiest and holiest personal day in a Jewish couple?s life, all past mistakes are forgiven this day. Together the new couple makes their lives together. It?s a unification of the soul. At the ceremony, the groom wears a kittel (traditional white robe, also worn on Yom Kippur). The bride and groom are expected to fast until the completion of the marriage ceremony.

Jen Carter is owner of My Wedding Blog, a free wedding planner guide.

Strength in numbers

Sitting Shiva is the tradition of mourning in the Jewish religion. Gathering together as a community is at the core of sitting Shiva, just as it is at the core of many Jewish traditions. The strength and support of friends, family and neighbors, during sitting Shiva, plays a key role in helping the bereaved get through the process of grieving.

Shiva is the mourning period, traditionally observed by the parent, spouse, sibling or child of the deceased. During Shiva (?sitting Shiva”), which is traditionally a seven day period that begins immediately after the funeral, the family stays home to focus on their grief, remember their loved one and receive visitors. Although traditionally a seven-day period, many families sit Shiva for a shorter period perhaps 1, 2 or 3 days. The Shiva period is often announced at the funeral.

Sympathy Gift Baskets are Customary

Jewish custom discourages sending flowers or gifts other than food when people are sitting Shiva. In fact, Shiva begins with seudat havra’ah, “the meal of consolation,” prepared by family and neighbors. For those who are unable to make a personal visit, sending a food gifts basket such as a Shiva Food Gifts or Sympathy Gift Baskets, with a thoughtful card is an appropriate and helpful gesture.

?I find that when giving a sympathy gift or sympathy basket, people feel the need to send it immediately,” says Jane Moritz, owner of The Challah Connection. ?However, it?s important to remember that people are visiting throughout and even after the Shiva period. The need for food to share continues for some time, so spacing out gifts is perfectly acceptable.”

Be sure to find out if the family sitting Shiva keeps kosher so you can send an appropriate food gift basket. In addition, when you are thinking of what to write, a simple message when people are sitting Shiva is best. Consider a message such as ?With our heartfelt sympathy,” or ?We are so sorry for your loss. You are in our thoughts,” or the most traditional, ?May God comfort you among all mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.”

What you can do and say
For many, consoling the bereaved that are sitting Shiva can be difficult and uncomfortable. However, Jewish customs are quite clear in describing proper etiquette and that helps alleviate awkward feelings. Generally, be a good listener and be as helpful as possible when people are sitting Shiva.

Soon after arriving, visitors should approach the mourners and sit quietly with them, possibly offering a hug or handshake, but letting the mourner begin the conversation. They may not feel like talking at all, and sitting in silence is perfectly acceptable. Alternatively, the visitor can simply say, ?I?m sorry,” and that can be enough. Just being there says it all?words are not always necessary when visiting those sitting Shiva.

It helps to remember that Shiva occurs during the most intense days of mourning. Those who have just lost a loved one will experience a range of powerful emotions, and that is an important part of the healing process. This is the perfect time to share stories, photos and cherished memories of the deceased. Moreover, if you do not know what to say, remain silent.

Shiva?an act of kindness

If there is a chance to be helpful, make an offer, or just complete the task, when appropriate. Run errands, pick-up at the airport, host someone coming in from out of town, cook or clean up, or take care of children. Whatever can be done to remove daily chores from those sitting Shiva becomes an immense help. Shiva calls should be thought of as an act of kindness, not as a burden. The visit can be an hour or less to avoid tiring the family. Different families will observe Shiva in different manners. It is traditional for mourners to have a tear in their clothing to symbolize their loss they may sit on low stools or even on the floor to show the depth of their sadness, and some show a traditional disregard for vanity and personal comfort by maintaining only the minimal standards of personal care, dressing simply and covering mirrors. Usually a 24-hour candle burns in memory of the deceased. In some homes, mourners will recite Kaddish up to three times a day with a minyan, which is a group of 10 Jewish adults. At times, it is difficult to gather a minyan, so visitors who can participate are especially appreciated.

About the author

Jane Moritz – independent investigative freelance feature writer, in a self-employed mission to shed light on various happenings in cross-cultural domains. For more information regarding Jewish mourning customs, they recommend you to visit www.aish.com.